Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
