just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
