dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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