He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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