Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
