Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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