I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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