I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You're like the curious george of whores
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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