don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize