when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
