just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The struggles of a small town man whore
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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