The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
