Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
