i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
