Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
