He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
