Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
