so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
