we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
