Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
