Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
