are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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