Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
well you can't waste a boner
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
