K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize