need another drink. this is the easiest way
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
