I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my being single is dangerous.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
