based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
