Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
