South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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