next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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