life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
