I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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