nut hugger
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
