4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
