Swine flu. Run for my life!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
