You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
