You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
