Will you blow on my dice?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
