Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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