someone threw a dead crab at me
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
