I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
