honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
