So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
