the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
