ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
