Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
