Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
