She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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