I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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