fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
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