he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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