I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
