New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
