I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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