If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
