So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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