I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
