I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
