spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
