first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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