you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
