sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
