My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
